


Louise Fischoeder

by girlnumber3belcher



Series: Grown Up Belcher Kids [2]
Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Friendship, grown up belcher kids, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 18:30:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13886631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlnumber3belcher/pseuds/girlnumber3belcher
Summary: A quick one-shot about Louise's platonic relationship with Calvin Fischoeder.





	Louise Fischoeder

The bell above the door of Bob’s Burgers tinkled happily as the landlord Calvin Fischoeder walked in. The swagger of Mr. Fischoeder had diminished over the years. Louise leaned against the counter pulling a stray thread off her pink bunny ears. These guys had seen better days as well. 

“Hey, Mr. Fischoeder,” she said in a bored voice. 

“Louise Belcher,” he said in his ominous voice, “Just the Belcher I wanted to speak with.”

This piqued her interest. Never had Mr. Fischoeder come into the restaurant to do much more than ask a weird favor or look for late rent. 

“Rent’s been paid, Fischoeder.”

“Ah yes, you are a Belcher,” he laughed and leaned himself down onto a stool. His motions were gingerly and if it was possible he was whiter than he was 10 years ago. 

“Louise, you’re out of school now, if I’m correct,” Calvin started.

Louise was now looking squarely at him through narrowed eyes. Naturally, she was suspicious of him asking any kind of questions about her personal life. 

“Yeah…” she said cautiously.

“Stand down. I’m getting too old to run these properties on my own and I’m looking for someone as…. shrewd as myself to collect rent and manage the odds and ends,” he waved his hands in a non-committal way.

As bizarre as it was to have Mr. Fischoeder asking about her personal life it was insane to have him admit his mortality. The Belcher kids always assumed Fischoeder would have his body cryogenically frozen or have his brain transplanted into the first android. They never ever thought he would die or think about being dead. It made Louise feel uncomfortable. There was a lump forming in her throat. Damn empathy.

“C’mon Mr. Fischoeder… you’ll never die,” there was a desperate edge to her words.

He smiled sadly at her. 

“Alas, I may. What do you say?” 

Louise absently pulled at her bunny ears. She wished her mom or dad were there to help her decide or break some of the sad tension. 

“Can I still work here too?” she asked perplexed.

Again Calvin smiled. She clearly wanted to keep helping her family. 

“Certainly,” Fischoeder conceded amiably.

Feeling bold Louise decided to ask for more concessions. 

“Can we lower my parents’ rent?” she asked.

Calvin recoiled at the idea.

“What if we increased Jimmy Pesto’s rent?” she tried.

Calvin stifled a smile. He was enjoying how vengeful Louise appeared to be.

“I’ll think about it,” he coughed into his hand to conceal a laugh. 

Louise sighed.

“Ok Fischoeder. I’ll help you.” 

“Excellent,” he perked slightly, “Come by this evening when you’re finished working and we’ll go over the particulars.”

As he ambled out of the restaurant Louise called after him to think about the rent hike for Jimmy Pesto’s. Calvin waved without looking back.

________________________________________________

“You’re going to do WHAT?!” Bob shrieked.

“Easy, Bobby,” Linda gently pushed him into a chair at the kitchen table.

“Geez, Dad. It’s not that big a deal,” Louise shrugged.

“What about the restaurant?” he pressed his hands against his eyes, already worrying about losing an employee.

“Dad, I can do both,” Louise asserted snapping into a carrot stick she’d just dipped in ranch dressing.

Bob looked suspiciously at her. 

“What’s he paying you?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Probably a lot though,” she shrugged again.

“Bobby this could be good for Louise. It’ll give her business sense,” Linda encouraged. 

The truth of the matter was Louise told Linda first and asked her to help soften the blow. Louise was daddy’s girl. It would be hard for Bob. He was going to think Louise was leaving him. He took it so hard when Tina and Zeke moved away after they got married. And Gene was still in town but his entertainment business was booming and he rarely came home. Louise appreciated the extra room but also she missed her siblings. Bob and Linda were having a hard time with the empty nest but if they were being honest it was mostly Bob having a hard time.

“Dad, I’m not going anywhere,” she rolled her eyes for added effect, “but I actually do need to leave. I’m late.”

“Oh God,” Bob moaned into his hands as Louise headed out for Mr. Fischoeder’s house.

________________________________________________

“So that’s all?” Louise asked watching Mr. Fischoeder from the corner of her eye.

The older man had a pile of paperwork that he’d handed her. It was a page or two stapled together with the address of each of his properties, name of tenants, and cost of rent. Each time a rent increase was placed it was notated. 

“Oh yes, when you’ve been doing this as long as I have you know who pays when. Of course you can also have this,” he said handing her his brand new MacBook, “There is much more information in here.”

Louise smirked slightly. Of course Fischoeder would have detailed files on a computer with reminders that were connected to his iPhone. He handed her the paperwork to gauge her response.

“You’ll probably find technology easier to use. Here take this too,” Calvin pulled out a brand new iPhone. 

“No, Mr. Fischoeder, I can’t take your phone,” Louise shook her head.

“Oh, no, this is mine,” he chuckled pulling out an even better version of the iPhone he was giving her.

Shaking her head again in a “I should have known” way, Louise plucked the phone from his hand.

“So I manage the accounts, collect rent, and deposit everything in your bank account. Is there anything else you want me to do?”

“Well, there is one thing.”

Louise waited for him to tell her the one thing but he’d fallen asleep. At least she thought he was asleep. She fleetingly wondered if she should wake him when he suddenly opened his eyes.

“Uh, well Belcher child I think it’s time you run along,” he said a bit dazed.

“O….K…. Do you need me to do anything else for you?” Louise asked, concerned.

“No, no, have a good night,” his smile didn’t reach his eyes as he waved her away.

________________________________________________

The next few months were busy for Louise and while she managed to still be irreverent and a bit of a sass master the wear of having two jobs was showing. The money she made from helping Fischoeder was basically paying her parents’ rent each month. After speaking with Calvin about that he agreed to just call that bit even. She still made quite a bit of money from him after that and her parents were actually saving money instead of floundering each month.

Bob was fairly resistant to allowing that to happen at first but Louise was insistent that it made more sense than cashing a check from Fischoeder to turn around and cut him a check the next month. For the most part things were going smoothly. Though when Louise would check in on Mr. Fischoeder she worried about his health decline.

“Hello?” Louise answered her FischPhone, as she referred to it.

“Louise, could you come by right now?” Mr. Fischoeder sounded so weak.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” she rushed to hang up.

“Fischoeder?” Bob asked with a snark in his voice.

“Yeah, he sounds bad,” with a waver in her voice, Louise looked up at her father.

Noticing how concerned she seemed Bob crossed the distance between them. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

Louise wiped a tear away on his hand so that no one would see it fall. 

“I just hate seeing old people in pain,” trying to seem like she was cheered up she punched him in the side.

“Ooof! What about me! I’m old and in pain,” he moaned.

“You’re not THAT old!” she quipped as she left the restaurant.

________________________________________________ 

Arriving at the Fischoeder mansion Louise noticed a car in the driveway that she’d never seen before. A black town car, fancy, but not Mr. Fischoeder’s style at all. Without knocking she walked into the spacious foyer where she heard voices, one of the weak Mr. Fisch and the other unfamiliar. In true Louise fashion, she crept toward the sitting room quietly to eavesdrop.

“You can’t be serious about this, Calvin,” the unfamiliar voice came.

“Oh, I’m very serious, Richard,” Fischoeder replied. Even in his apparent state he could sound very confident.

“I just don’t think this is smart for you to do… give all your assets to an 18 year old girl… I mean….” Richard trailed off.

HOLY SHIT, Louise thought, Fischoeder is going to give me everything?! This was too much. It was 100% a dream come true and she didn’t even have to Anna Nicole Smith the situation but at the same time it felt icky… like the Anna Nicole Smith situation. Like she definitely respected Mr. Fischoeder too much to want to just take his money but if he wanted to give it to her… what then?

Waiting a couple of beats in the conversation lull she banged around the hallway a bit and called out to announce herself.

“Hey, Mr. Fisch!” she yelled.

“Ah my favorite Bunny Eared Belcher,” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eye, “Have a seat.”

After sitting in an armchair nearest to Calvin, Louise eyed Richard warily.

“Louise, I’m Richard Grossman. I’m Calvin’s attorney,” he introduced himself they way you would to a five year old. Louise didn’t appreciate that too much.

“Mr. Fischoeder, what’s going on,” she turned so she only had him to look at. 

He was still in his pajamas today with a blanket pulled over the lower half of his body. This was happening more frequently. He didn’t even really like getting out of bed anymore. He no longer did any of his business, leaving most of it up to Louise and probably Richard as well. 

“Louise, there comes a time in every man’s life when he realizes that he is not going to have his brain implanted into a cyborg to live forever.”

Louise was shaking her head. She was NOT going to cry. This was NOT happening. Fucking Fischoeder was going to live forever. But here he was, already coming to terms with mortality and wanting her to be his heir.

“Louise, I never had children. On purpose. Could you imagine them fighting over all this? But if ever there was a child who could have been mine it was you. You’re shrewd, smart and you have just what it takes to carry on my holdings in this town….” he smiled warmly at her.

“Gross,” she sniffled. 

I AM NOT CRYING, her inside voice screamed.

“Yes, that would be how I felt about it too. That’s what Richard is here to do. We’ve changed my will and you will have it all when I’m gone. Which according to my doctor won’t be long.”

His last proclamation elicited a gasp from the girl. 

“Just, ya know, make sure I get a better, bigger funeral than that jerk Caffery. Scumbag taffy man.”

Louise could no longer control the tears but it didn’t matter. What did she care if he saw her cry. He deserved to see the emotion she had for him and this situation. 

After agreeing to outdo Caffery and signing some paperwork with Richard, then sitting with Calvin til he fell asleep Louise left as quietly as she entered. Strolling about as slowly as a person can back to her home. How was she going to tell her family and how could she do all this without Mr. Fischoeder guiding her? She realized she both wanted this and didn’t want this. She’d grown very attached to Calvin over the past few months and honestly, over her whole childhood knowing him. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The funeral for Calvin Fischoeder was indeed an extravagant event in the town. Almost everyone on Oceanside was a tenant of his and had known him for several years. He wasn’t being buried. Having already been cremated at Mort’s, Louise had his urn in the church. And though she didn’t really think Calvin had been much on religion, this was the nicest church in the town and it was packed to the rafters with mourners, including many old flames of Calvin’s both female and male as well as every old friend and distant relative. Many of the latter feeling it necessary to snub their noses at Louise who they had all found out rather quickly was the sole beneficiary of the Fischoeder fortune. Felix was nowhere to be seen, however. Having left for a trip down the Nile 4 years ago and went unheard from to this day, he was assumed dead. 

“Louise, I’m really sorry about Mr. Fischoeder,” Bob said squeezing her shoulder.

“Thanks, daddy,” she whispered so only he’d hear her.

After a 3 hour funeral full of many many mourners wanting to have their say about Calvin, both good and bad. Louise took his ashes out to the pier on the Wharf and had a small chat with him.

“Mr. Fischoeder, you changed everything. Did you always know you were going to do this? I hope you’re happy cause I’m so confused. I’ll try to do my best to live up to your name. I hope I don’t fuck up too much,” opening the urn she tipped his ashes into the ocean. The wind picking up and spreading them out far. 

Turning back to Wonder Wharf she saw many of the workers standing behind her, watching solemnly. She smiled briefly before yelling, “What are you doing?! GET BACK TO WORK!” and watched the employees scatter.

“I’ll do my best, Mr. Fischoeder,” she whispered.


End file.
